The Brampton Park Chronicles

Oh, how I wish I was back at Brampton Park
See that big house all in the dark
With Milady giving orders and servants
All scurrying
People worrying
In case Milady's orders
Were not carried out to perfection
In her predilection
That everything at Brampton Park
Be contained in that great
Glowing house in the dark

Milady's eating in today - with guests,
Oh, so I see,
That means she'll need her Footmen,
Just like me,
To place her hankie in her lap,
She won't be getting food on that
I'll hold Milady's chair
And help her get seated there
At her magnificent dining table
Down at good old Brampton Park
A regular little Noah's Ark!

Milady's gone all complacent
Taking the air with Millicent
Her daughter
Acting no better that she ought to
I think shes visiting today,
Other nobles on the way
To see to further business matters
'Driver', move on, She chatters,
While I hold her calling cards
Very hard
So they don't blow away
It's rather windy you see today.

Got to go out with the coach today
I hope the horses had their hay
Don't want them chewing Milady's hat
We really couldn't do with that!

Lady Olivia's got so stately
Though she's been getting on a bit lately
She's still very sprightly
Sees her doctor fortnightly
Who greets her ever so brightly
'Hello, your Ladyship',
He'll say
'What can I get you to day?'
'Taking the waters?'
'Well then Look what I brought you,
A nice pink pill,
That'll stop you getting ill!'

The work of the Footman's never done
I've powdered my wig till the powder
Shone - if that was possible
I've brushed my gold braid and polished
My buttons
'Cos I don't want to look like a piece
Of mutton
Dressed as lamb
As I pass Milady
The strawberry jam!