Virgil, Vampire Vacuum Salesman

There he goes again, hopping around like a frightened kangaroo – nervy, desperate, the Urban Hunter on the prowl going for the 'Big Kill'. He lives in the movies most of the time anyway. 'Now then, Madam, I can transform your life in a few seconds flat', he gurgles with false enthusiasm. He literally bores everyone around him to death with his hyped up though carefully prepared sales talk.

After a while he'll boast about the contacts he's just ripped off from the last company he worked for; 'But they just didn't know what they were doing until I came along and put their company right for them'. He'll tell you all about his new clothes and what he hasn't had to do to get them. None of this working for minimum wage for him - he thinks he's one of the big boys. He probably has a few cars on H.P. too. Then, there's his designer office with its original paintings and his beautiful model girlfriend with rich parents who are falling over themselves to look after him (and would probably pay him to go away).

Thing about Virgil is, when he's sucked all the life out of you, made you buy his product and reduced your personal self esteem to something like 20 below zero, reminded you of all the things you can't do very well and all the clothes that you haven't been able to afford to buy, he'll go right out there, leaving you like a piece of screwed up old parchment and find some other gullible idiot to take the stuffing out of. Watch out for him, he's a highly dangerous, very expensive machine.